"I laughed. I cried. I was moved." Isn't that what you want your readers to say about your book? I do! We have to feel it first. If your writing, your story doesn't move you, the person closest to it, it certainly won't move anyone else. Part of what makes my writing so hard is that I feel it so acutely. I don't like going to those hard places, so I avoid writing. But, I force myself. Afterward, I'm drained but rewarded, which makes it worth the effort. So, go there, leave it all on the tear-stained paper. You and your readers will be glad you did.